


Greedy

by kikkimax



Category: Firefly
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-10-21
Updated: 2005-10-21
Packaged: 2019-04-29 08:16:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14468610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kikkimax/pseuds/kikkimax
Summary: The women of Serenity do 'research'.  Jayne is the specimen.





	Greedy

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Firefly’s Glow](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Firefly%27s_Glow), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Firefly's Glow collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/fireflysglow/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** Slightly naughty, oh so wrong. Talk about man-bits.

  
Author's notes: Slightly naughty, oh so wrong. Talk about man-bits.  


* * *

Greedy

## Greedy

As Zoe watched from the infirmary door Simon leaned against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. When he dropped his head with a weary sigh Zoe stepped forward to make her presence known. "Tired?" she asked. 

"Not at all," Simon denied as he quickly blinked his eyes a couple times, squared his shoulders, and then focused his entire attention on her. The combined effect miraculously made him appear rested and ready to get to work. 

"Liar," Zoe accused lightly. "But that is a nice little trick." 

With a rueful look Simon made his way back to the exam table and his patient. "Thanks. I learned to do that as an intern when tired wasn't an option," he explained as he flicked on his penlight. He lifted one of Jayne's eyelids to check the response before moving to the other. The pupils reacted suitably but Jayne didn't budge. 

"Why don't you go get something to eat and then rest for a bit? I'll keep an eye on him." 

"Are you sure?" Simon asked hopefully. 

"Well if you hit the deck from exhaustion I'll just end up taking care of you too," Zoe pointed out. 

Simon grinned as he rolled his shirt sleeves down and fastened the cuffs. "Well he is out of the woods. And I gave him enough smoothers to put down a raging bull." 

"That's an apt comparison," Zoe approved as she took up residence on the stool next to Jayne's right shoulder. "Go on. I'll send for you if anything changes." 

Nodding his thanks Simon held out his hand to River who had spent the night on the other bed after Jayne's unplanned surgery was over, uncharacteristically willing to hang out in the infirmary. "I'm staying," she said in a no-nonsense tone. 

"You saved him, mei mei," Simon told her gently. "You've done your part." 

"Staying." 

"It's okay, we're fine," Zoe assured Simon with an unspoken promise to watch over both of his charges. 

With one more nervous glance in River's direction Simon buttoned his vest and went in search of sustenance, passing Inara on the way out. They exchanged greetings and Simon gave her a brief update on the merc's condition before continuing on his way. 

As she entered the room Inara smiled at River then positioned herself across from Zoe, unwittingly blocking River's view. "He looks so peaceful," she said as she smoothed Jayne's hair back from his forehead, stopping to rest the back of her hand against his brow. "Does he seem a little warm?" she asked worriedly. 

"Fever broke during the night," River announced as she appeared suddenly at the head of the bed. She bent at the waist and leaned in close to Jayne's face but didn't touch him except for her hair that swept forward to spill over his exposed collarbone and neck. 

Zoe and Inara exchanged concerned glances but didn't comment as River continued her odd, upside-down inspection of Jayne's features. Finally Inara had enough and gently tugged River around her and down the bed towards Jayne's knees. River accepted the new arrangement easily and they stood in silence for several minutes as they continued to watch the big man slumber. 

"He seems so vulnerable like this," Inara mused after another few moments. She caressed Jayne's hand before cocooning it between her own smaller ones. 

"Seems to me you missed your true calling," Zoe told her. "Quite the bedside manner you've got there." 

Inara studied her for a minute before accepting the compliment as it was intended. "He could have died." 

"If we hadn't had a surgeon on board he would have," Zoe stated matter-of-factly. "A burst appendix while cruising through the black is usually a death sentence." 

"I can't believe we didn't notice how sick he was," Kaylee whispered guiltily as she came through the door. 

"Damn fool man hid it pretty well," Zoe said as Kaylee slipped in next to her taking up Jayne's other hand. 

"Not like Jayne to miss a meal," Kaylee disagreed. "He quit eating two days ago. We wasn't payin' attention." 

"Well apparently River was," Inara said as she sent a sidelong glance at the younger woman. "How did you know when he collapsed down in his bunk?" 

River shrugged enigmatically. "Walls came down. Now he's bare. Easier to see." She raised a hand and reached past Inara to poke at Jayne's cheek. 

"Walls?" Kaylee asked. "You mean like how he keeps his feelings to hisself?" 

"He guards his heart." River stated, allowing Inara to pull her hand away from Jayne's face. "He doesn't want it to break again. Sent him straight into space the first time. Now he's careful not to get involved. Likes to think he's not, but he is." 

"Somebody broke poor Jayne's heart?" Kaylee squeaked in sympathy, lifting his hand to her lips. 

River nodded and opened her mouth to give the details. 

"River, stop," Inara interrupted urgently. "It's not proper to divulge a man's secrets." 

"She's right," Zoe concurred. "As much as I'd love to know what makes Jayne Cobb tick; he should tell it himself if he wants it told." 

"Can't help what I see when he's open like this." River smiled down at Jayne and pulled the sheet halfway down his furry chest to rest her hand over his heart. 

Inara sighed. "It's okay to see if you can't help it, I suppose. Just don't tell it." 

"Are you... are you still looking inside him?" Kaylee asked, eyes wide with wonder. 

"Can't not," River explained. She yanked the sheet even further down to run her fingers over the faint outline along his right lower abdomen. Simon had performed his magic skillfully and the mended skin appeared almost as good as new. But as River pressed a little harder into the smooth, pink area Jayne moaned in his sleep. 

"River," Zoe admonished softly, "Don't get carried away." She slid off the stool and stepped around Kaylee to catch the sheet before it slipped to the floor. By resting her hand on the portion covering Jayne's hip she kept River's exploration from going too far south. 

"The human body is a beautiful thing," River said as she continued to investigate the dips and planes of exposed flesh with her fingertips. 

"Yeah," Kaylee agreed with a dreamy smile. She focused her eyes on the gentle rise and fall of Jayne's taunt belly as he breathed. "It can be. Especially when it's all sweaty from lifting weights." 

"Jayne's a might crude but he ain't hard to look at," Zoe granted. 

"Zoe!" 

"What? I'm married, that don't mean I'm blind. I still appreciate the sight of a sweaty mercenary every once in a while so long as Wash ain't around to notice." 

Three of them laughed and River even managed a small puzzled smile but they soon grew quiet again as one by one their gazes were drawn down to where Zoe held the sheet in place. 

"You ever wonder?" Kaylee asked thoughtfully as she inclined her chin toward Jayne's nether regions. 

"No," Inara said much too quickly. "It's been my experience that the more a man talks the less he has to talk about," she clarified when everyone glanced up at her. 

"I don't know," Kaylee drawled, "Seems to me it ought to be big and scary just like the rest of him." 

Zoe raised an eyebrow and studied the lump just under the sheet. "Don't know about scary..." 

"We can't look," Inara stated firmly. 

"Wouldn't be proper," Zoe teased without a hint of a smile. 

Inara glared at her. "That's right. It wouldn't be." 

"And it's not like Jayne would ever look if it was one of us lying there," Kaylee said innocently. 

Even River laughed this time and the noise of their cackles stirred Jayne. "Shhh," Kaylee soothed, quieting him by stroking his face. He took a deep breath but never opened his eyes. "We may never get this opportunity again," she said when she was certain he was still asleep. 

Zoe harrumphed. "I don't know, it's not like he's modest or anything. He'd probably be glad to show us his manhood if we asked." 

"But he'd want something in return," Kaylee pointed out. "He's greedy like that." 

"Observation without being observed," River said in an impatient tone. "Get on with it." 

They all looked at the youngest member of the group and then at each other. In silent accord they agreed not to do it. 

River glared at them then took a deep breath. "Human male organ of urination and copulation, cylindrical, composed of erectile tissue arranged in three columns. Corpora cavernosa..." 

"Well it's not like she doesn't already know way too much about the birds and the bees," Kaylee shrugged as River continued to clinically describe the form and function of the male reproductive system in excruciating detail. "She's gotta see one sometime." 

"That doesn't mean Jayne wants to be her real life anatomy lesson," Inara insisted. 

"He already offered to show it to me," River broke off her graphic monologue to say. 

"Oh he did, did he?" Zoe asked, turning an angry eye to Jayne. 

"I told him Jayne was a girl's name," River explained lucidly. "He said he had man-bits, offered to show me. Simon was there." 

"Oh." Zoe breathed a little easier. 

"That does sound like something Jayne would say," Kaylee replied. "He can't take it back now." 

"Because he's unconscious." 

"He did offer." 

Inara winced. "Simon won't like it..." 

"It's research!" River insisted in exasperation. 

"Simon's a prude. What he don't know won't hurt him," Kaylee said, sounding a little miffed at the doctor on general principle. "River's old enough to make this decision all on her own." 

"That's right," River agreed stubbornly. "I want to see Jayne's man-bits." 

"Oh, all right," Inara finally gave in, realizing she wasn't going to win. "Let's see it." 

Zoe looked at each one of them in turn then spared a glance behind her for the door before slowly lifting the sheet. "Damn," she said simply. 

"Well." Inara cleared her throat. "That is impressive." 

Kaylee swallowed. "Okay, so I ain't exactly... scared." 

"I am," River swore solemnly, her eyes riveted to the sight. 

"That ain't nothing yet," Kaylee explained with enthusiasm. "Wait til you see one all riled up. If we was to stroke it a little..." 

"Kaylee!" Zoe and Inara shouted at the same time. 

"Wha's goin' on?" 

With a flick of her wrist Zoe covered Jayne all the way to his neck. "You're dreaming, Jayne," she told him sweetly. 

"Dreamin'?" Jayne grunted as he looked in confusion at all the faces gathered around him. 

"Yep, all a drug induced dream," Kaylee assured him with a kiss to his temple. 

Jayne closed his eyes and leaned into the contact. When he opened them again he grinned dopily at the women around him. "Good dream." 

"He always was a friendly drunk," Zoe said with a smile as Jayne gathered up as many of their hands as he could reach and tucked them under his own beefy forearm before drifting back to sleep. 

"And greedy," Kaylee added affectionately. 

The End

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title:   **Greedy**   
Author:   **Kikkimax**   [website]   
Details:   **Standalone**  |  **PG-13**  |  **gen**  |  **10k**  |  **10/21/05**   
Characters:  Zoe, Kaylee, Inara, Jayne, River   
Pairings:  none   
Summary:  The women of Serenity do 'research'. Jayne is the specimen.   
Notes:  Slightly naughty, oh so wrong. Talk about man-bits.   
  



End file.
